59: Fear of Truths
The woods appeared eerie towards the end of the Autumn season. The leaves, graceful in their fall, littered the ground and the wonderful displays of warm colours decayed after many frosty mornings. Grotesque dark greens and browns overcame each leaf and forced them to crinkle in shame as they died. The wind blew these into sparse patches, trying to cover the dirt below. Mingzhu felt it reflected her current predicament; she had been too busy trying to hide her past without avail. Now, she faced final judgement.
The tradition before a wedding required home visits from the involved families. A betrothal gift was offered to the bride, while a dowry to the groom. Despite the unique situations regarding parents and status, everyone forced Disung and Mingzhu to comply. This only added to Mingzhu’s troubles. She thought receiving the marriage approval from Huli’s messengers was horrid enough but today, steps away from a ghost of the past, she felt far worse.
“You are acting weird,” Disung noticed as they approached the cabin.
“No more than you,” Mingzhu replied, observing his fidgeting hands and shifting of paces.
“Why do you keep looking in the forest?”
Busted. Her eyes remained focused on shadows for the entirety of their travel. She swallowed passed the building lump in her throat. The dreaded moment arrived. “Liu Disung—”
“I told you before and I’ll tell you again: call me Disung. We are about to wed and there is no need for formalities anymore.”
“There is something I must tell you. It’s about your father, Liu Hanxiong.”
The world stood still for the name. Even the shadows Mingzhu watched with hawk eyes seemed to freeze, as if trapped by a winter blizzard. You can do this, Mingzhu reminded herself. After hearing the news of the wedding, she immediately planned for this day. Now, the truth needed to be revealed. She opened her mouth and—
“That is no way to greet your mother and introduce your bride!”
Before the pair realised who called, Chunhua whacked her son over the head and bowed to Mingzhu. However, when she rose and looked at her future daughter-in-law, the smile disappeared.
“Y-you?”
“Mother, this is Fa Huian.”
Mingzhu dropped to the ground and kotowed, both out of respect and because her legs turned weak. How long had it been? Ten years? Eleven years? A lifetime? Did it truly matter? Chunhua still looked the same; broad, tough and maintained a glare which pierced hearts.
You can do this.
“Shao Chunhua, many moons have passed since we set eyes on each other and I cannot express my regret you meet me again. My name is Bai Mingzhu, daughter of the Pheasant and the monster of the mountain clan. Please listen to me. I do not plan to marry your son. I will not force my curse upon you and your family anymore. Instead, I come here today to offer a gift, not for a wedding, but as an apology for all those years ago.”
“Mingzhu?” Disung whispered, struggling to comprehend what was happening.
“Come out now! As the Fox, you should face your fears!”
A man shyly left the safe shadows of the large trees into the clearing. The black clothes, which hugged his lean, short frame, did not get spared from clouds of dirt huffing around the forest. The only hair on his body were his bushy eyebrows, similar in shape and size of the ones on Disung’s face. The years in the wilderness hadn’t aged him but the tragedies of life did, giving him a wise aura.
“Hanxiong?” Chunhua gasped.
“Father?”
With those shattering words, Mingzhu bolted. Unlike Master, she could not face her fears. The rejection already stung, although she did not wait to see the face of Disung as he learnt the truth. She loathed her weak heart. She loathed cowardness. Most of all, she loathed herself.